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I'm a cuddly old jokester at heart and I'm really fun to be with...but all you girls beware I truly love to fart.



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RicardoCranium ALL JOKES ASIDE GOODNESS GRACIOUS I'VE TRIED.... I'VE GONE TO THE EASTSIDE TO PLAY IN THE OCEAN AND AGAINST THE TIDE.... ADIOS SENORITAS AND HOMBRES.
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RicardoCranium ALL JOKES ASIDE GOODNESS GRACIOUS I'VE TRIED.... I'VE GONE TO THE EASTSIDE TO PLAY IN THE OCEAN AND AGAINST THE TIDE.... ADIOS SENORITAS AND HOMBRES.
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RicardoCranium You all know that scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent......oh yes they have and it's called wedding cake.....OH NO...I didn't say that..
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RicardoCranium I'm just wondering why did the woman smile when she walked down the marriage aisle....They think she realized she gave her last blowjob......OH I didn't say that.
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RicardoCranium Enjoy a few funny stories tonight.
2 months, 14 days ago - Comment - Like - Report
RicardoCranium A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and she agreed. He asked her if she knew his company,Cheeseborough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, the answer was "Yes." Asked how she used it, she said, "To assist sexual intercourse." The interviewer was amazed. He said, "I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge; but I know that most use it for sexual intercourse. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?" "Yes, we put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out." l
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RicardoCranium Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future." Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend." "That's true," said Paul. "Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?" "Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?" "Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters."
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RicardoCranium A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler. the little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" Grandpa replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" The little boy answered no. Grandpa said "Then you're not man enough to have a beer." A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar. The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your dick touch your ass?" The little boy answered no, again. Grandpa said, "Then your not man enough to have a cigar." A little later, the little boy came out of the house With a cookie. Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?" The boy asked "Can your dick touch your ass?" Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah my dick can touch my ass!" The boy replied, "Then go fuck yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me."
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RicardoCranium's Profile



Sex: Male
Age: 44
Pref: Straight
Status: Widowed
Height: 6'
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Blonde
Body Type: Average
Smokes: Yes
Drinks: Rarely
Race: Caucasian
Religion: Other
Children: No, and do not want
Education: Bachelor's Degree

Everything about me is a complete and utter mystery lately and not even I truly know where I'm gonna go while I'm here on this wild and crazy ride they refer as nudeweb.

Nevertheless I'm a fun spirited, an old soul, a true gentleman and a chatty chap to correspond with....and if you must know....FUN is my middle fuckin name.

Oh....and if you have gotten this far in reading this short story about me, I absolutely love the outdoors, rock climbing, picking strawberries, eating raisons, nude beaches, writing romantic and funny poetry, painting by numbers, mountain biking in the rain, swimming in the ocean, heavy ass power lifting, shopping for sneakers, goin fishing in a row boat with just my dog and I and everything else fun in between.

Thank you for stopping by y'all and taking the time to read a very brief description about who I am. I look forward to seeing you and hearing from you soon.

With much love, Recardo.

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