According to my Fitbit I have wanked 5 km since Christmas... will tell another joke to make things right....
My wife is always walking into something and getting hurt... she walked into our bed room and found me fucking her best friend...

that's funny

Why are you married? Why did you fuck her best friend?

Wait, no, how the fuck did you even get the opportunity to get married in the first place? Good God, what a pig.

this is the jokes forum
not to be taken seriously
a humorous way for looking
shouldn't be offensive