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Mar. 12th, 2009 at 2:09pm
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Nervous Priest
________________

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as daddy, junior and the spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say, "Eat me"

12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not "Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God."

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's.
Mar. 15th, 2009 at 5:22pm
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This one always makes me giggle.
Mar. 18th, 2009 at 8:15am
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I'm still lmao at # 9..
Mar. 19th, 2009 at 2:44am
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LMAO... Thanks, Yummy!
Sep. 27th, 2016 at 6:13pm
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your welcome


Sep. 28th, 2016 at 12:00am
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Roflmo
Oct. 1st, 2016 at 6:35am
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its funny eh
Nov. 7th, 2016 at 2:07pm
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What's the difference between a fridge and a piece of meet the fridge don't fart when u pull the meet out
Nov. 8th, 2016 at 3:07am
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that's funny
Nov. 11th, 2016 at 6:28am
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hihihi...
Nov. 11th, 2016 at 10:47am
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Still funny to read
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