Lonelyblara

      I'm glad I discovered this place. I can talk about my feelings anonymously, and at least, connect with people like me! Well, it all started out when I was 5 years old... I discovered how to touch myself and always felt good when I was nude (or only in my diapers). I learned how to ********** at the age of 5, and continued it up until 17- when I had an accidental ******. Geez... How scary. I remember rushing to get into the shower room after school so I can pleasure myself. That was until I realized at age 20, that what I was doing was wrong. I researched on whether it was accepted by the Catholic Church (as I am a very religious person), and I never really found anything directly related to it, saying that it was a bad practice. But I still continued doing it anyway- despite feeling dirty and guilty inside. 


So, finally, I made the decision last year, to admit to my best friend that I would watch **** (I discovered this when I was 20 years old) and **********. She really did not say much- as she was a quiet person, but she learned to accept me anyway. I appreciate that she did, but my motive of admitting my true true self, was only to help aid me in ruling **** out of my life. Well, she didn't have a clue on HOW exactly to stop me from watching, but at least I felt a little relief of finally letting someone know. I mean, I can't keep myself bottled up or have the notion that I'll be safe inside my own little mind. It was pretty disgusting to take comfort in the fact that nobody else (but God) knows that I was really secretly horny (since everybody knows that I am a religious person- I serve in mass, pray a lot, never go to parties, never even drink!), so I figured that telling someone would help me, by giving off this "subconscious" feeling that someone else you know actually knows what YOU DO when I am alone