I'm addicted to cock!

This may sound a little crazy and just plain strange! But, I am addicted to cock! That's not the crazy part! It's not strange that I love it! The feel of it in me! On me! Against me! It's the fact I find them disgusting and ugly and still have to have it! It's the reason I love it that is different! I will do my best to explain! Don't worry guys! Men will always be my preferred sexual partners. It's just not for the reason you may think!
If I was your normal girl and didn't have the sexual desires that I do. I really think I would be a full blown lesbian! I'm being serious! I find the female body much more attractive than the male form. They are soft, smooth and have beautiful curves. We're men are usually rough and hairy! And, let's face it! That thing hanging down between their legs is funny and scary looking! And, I love the ugly things and glad they are there! I am obsessed with and addicted to cocks!
As beautiful as a woman is I do find them to be as satisfying and pleasing for sexy activities. Women just don't offer me the same thrill as men. When it comes to women I see them as more of a play thing. They are nice to touch! Great for sensuality! And, wonderfully to look at! But, they feel more submissive to me. While I am not a dominant type and prefer to be more into the submissive slave role of a relationship. I feel different when it comes to women. I want to take charge! I've thought about it a lot and have tried to figure out why I'm this way. The only answer I have is that I want to put them through all the dirty things I wish I was being put through. Especially, those things that scare and humiliate me. Like being bound and left in a public place to be discovered by strangers. Though, I have been there myself! It's still a frightening experience that I enjoy watching other girls go through. It gets me wet watching and imagining I was them. Only, I experience it from a safe distance without worrying about the consequences.
Now, men are totally different. They give me what my mind and body both crave! I see them as being more dominant. Stronger! Bigger! More animalistic! I feel small and lower around men! Which is what I prefer sexually! While I find a beautiful woman more sexually pleasing. It seems to be the uglier, older scarier men that I prefer during sex. While most girls are looking and dreaming about the pretty boys! I'm looking at the exact opposite and getting turned on. Which is a plus for you guys! Looks don't matter much to me! Don't get me wrong! Big and scary will get you a long way. But, all that really matters is that you can make me feel low, helpless and overpowered! I look at a rough looking guy and have images of them grabbing me by the back of my head and forcing their duck down my throat! Or, slapping me before spinning me around, pinning me down and fucking me so hard my eyes roll back in my head and I pass out cold. I need and desire being treated like a piece of worthless meat. Used, abused, degraded and completely humiliated! Treat as an object or sex slave! Kept helpless and hopeless for escape while used for and forced to do dirty filthy sexual things. It's what I crave and dream about! And, it has landed me in a lot of trouble!
With all that said! Cock is a love hate relationship! I need it and crave it! But, I find them ugly and unpleasant to the eye! And, the less attractive they are, the more I want them! Bet you're confused now! I have thought about it forever and don't understand it fully myself. I have come to the conclusion that the filthier, more used, forced, helpless and degraded I feel! The more I enjoy the sex! The better the orgasms are! The wetter I get! I prefer to be taken! Not asked! Not romanced! Taken! Jumped, fucked and abused mentally and physically!
I have also come to face the reality that I will never get married. I don't think I could truly ever be happy through marriage! I think I'm actually ok with it! Now!
With a woman I can see the love, physical attraction and sensuality that comes with marriage. There are a couple of problems when it comes to marrying a female. She would have to want to be completely submissive to me. She would have to want me to treat her as I want men to treat me. That's already not easy to find. Add that to they fact that she would have to be ok with me having men in our life that treat me that way and it's almost impossible. Not to mention serving them next to me. And, it being done with multiple men, not just one. While she may be out there somewhere. In my dream life I'm to busy being used and sexually degraded that I wouldn't have time. You can see why that wouldn't work out well.
And with men! Marriage just doesn't make sense at all! Not the relationship I want with them. I would rather be married to there dog as a sign of submission and degradation. 😆 I want them to treat me as a object. Lower even! A tool to be used for depraved sexual desires. Shared and even rented out and sold to others. Friends, family and strangers! All for sexual satisfaction and entertainment. I don't want a small taste of freedom or pride. In public I want to be led around by a leash. In skimpy clothing if any at all! To be exposed, used and degraded! Forced into situations the humiliate and frighten me. I want to be owned and forcefully taken! Punished, tormented and used in degrading pervert d ways. Force to do yardwork naked and bound for the neighbors entertainment. Forced to welcome guests by shaking their cocks with my mouth. 😂 Nothing but an old filthy slut slave for them to own and use as they please. Obviously, marriage doesn't fit into that plan at all.
I know! I'm complicated and it's all very strange. It may confuse you for now. But, I've been confused by it all my life. After years of questioning my own sanity. This is the only sense I can make out of my desires and emotions. It is me! It is my needs! It is my life! Rather you understand it, or not; it is what I crave and desire. It is also why I will always need that hairy stuff thing that hangs between men's legs. And the two wrinkled eggs shaped buddies that come with it! I crave cock! I crave cum! I always will!