Granted permanently 13 can't drink can't drive acne. Braces school.

I wish I'd invented something

Granted, you invented cheese, but you ate it before it became public


I wish i was a stud

Granted. You are now worn in my nose

I wish I could write a book

Granted, but you can't get past...ONCE UPON A TIME


I wish i was a jumps jockey

What sorry can't hear you it's a bad link. Oh ok if you wish
Granted now bend over and let all these jockeys jump you.

I wish I could weld

granted but you have to go to the top of the forth rail bridge, and do some urgent welding on one of the steel structures, at the very top only around 310 feet up

I wish to swim with sharks

Granted they're remaking Jaws and need am extra for the opening shot.

I wish to swim with dolphins

Granted but you cant swim


I wish to be a stripper

granted now strip for me

I wish i could ride a bull

Granted but riding the bull gives you fleas causing you to itch and scratch for hours

I wish to travel in space

Granted but you dont have a space suit

I wish to be a film star

Granted bully is now Lassie

I wish the weekends were longer

Granted they last an extra 10 minutes

I wish i had an everlasting erection

Granted. But get caught in a revolving door.

I wish I was irisistabel to women

granted but you are also irisistabel to guys


I wish i could go on a roller coaster

Granted but the lever jams and you can't get off

I wish I was on holiday

granted one way ticket to a desert island


I wish i was king

Granted. You now a king Edward potato

I wish I could do magic

Granted, you are now the wizard of oz


I wish i was a pair of woman's panties

Granted. Being the size you are you only fit Fred the local cross dresser.

I wish I had a lampe..
I wish I had a lamber..
I wish I had a lambur..
I wish I had a porsche